Breaking through Roadblocks
I’ve been thinking lately about what blocks us from doing what we:
- Love most
- Value most
- Want most to create.
For example, I aspire to expand my yoga teaching, write fiction, and make more art. Instead, I find myself caught in endless loop of custodial self-care. Activities like sleep, exercise, and healthly meals, while essential, provide at best low-grade fulfillment. Keeping on top of “business”—the financial, legal, and medical infrastructure required of a working person in modern life—is a huge energy drain.
What’s going on? Why am I not living the life I desire? Yoga identifies three common roadblocks, the malas, that prevent us from moving onward and upward:
1 Anava mala: the feeling that we are unworthy, which makes us sad, even depressed.
2 Karma mala: the feeling that we can’t do what we need or want to do, which makes us fearful.
3 Mahiya mala: the feeling that we are different and thus alienated from others, which leaves us angry.
Note: These are feelings, actually misperceptions, not reality. And each has an obvious opposite or antidote:
1 The feeling or conviction that we are worthy, which make us happy, or at least content. The Dalai Lama once famously pointed out that the concept low self-esteem simply doesn’t exist in Tibetan culture. Apparently it’s acquired not innate, and can be offloaded!
2 The feeling that we are capable, which makes us optimistic.
3 The feeling that we are more alike than not. Identification connects us. Connection fosters love, kindness, generosity. We move from “I’m not you,” to “I’m something like you,” to “I’m nothing but you!”
Human life is not lived at the poles (worthless/worthy, helpless/empowered, different/the same). Rather, we navigate the grey areas in between. Both we and the world we inhabit are imperfect, unstable, and ever changing. As a great writer opined, “We don’t see perfectly, and we don’t see whole.” My best, operable workaround when the three malas descend is simple:
- Do what you can: (combating anava and karma malas)
- With what you have (anava/karma/mahiya)
- Where you are now (anava/karma/mahiya).
I promise you will feel better! Let’s break it down.
DO WHAT YOU CAN
It’s a lot easier to act your way into right thinking than think your way into right actions. Where to start? Do something (small, easy, seemingly inconsequential) that gives you pleasure. I suggest physical movement: Move a muscle, change a thought! Jump in the ocean, walk on the beach, walk on the sidewalk, strut around your apartment! Or engage your senses: Cook a special meal, bake a pie. Eat a favorite childhood food you haven’t tasted for years: Pop Tart, Jello, Milk Duds. Sing a song, read a book. Call (rather than text) a friend. Little things boost mood, build confidence, and invite you to step up to bigger actions, one riser at a time.
WITH WHAT YOU HAVE
We all have vast inner resources: experience, memories, knowledge, wisdom, curiosity, creativity, talents, skills. And outer resources: time; money; family, friends, colleagues, social networks. In short abundance, way more than we could ever exhaust in a lifetime! Each of us has much to share, to express, to create, to build and sustain, to dismantle and reconfigure!
WHERE YOU ARE NOW
Look around: You’re surrounded by peers, colleagues, family, friends, community. Lots of potential collaborators, and an environment that supports you—and that you can support. There’s always something to be done that only you can do!
For example, I’ve been teaching yoga for more than 30 years, but I also possess that Ph.D.: I’m well versed in the history of ideas. I write with ease, and I have a gift for explaining things. My newsletters and blogs are as much my “teaching” as any practice I lead on the mats.
I live in two places (New York City and the Hamptons) where people have the desire and the resources to pursue yoga at a higher level—both students and the other yoga teachers I mentor. A captive audience for the depth of my knowledge. I also get to draw on the sophisticated, inquisitive, and extraordinary people drawn to the area because they want to excel at what they do. This embarrassment of riches presents itself every time I step out! I’m never alone. I have no need to be.
What do you value most? How can you move toward that today? What have you already done?
Referring back to my own list, here’s my progress:
1. I taught yoga this morning, at highest level my students could absorb
2. I wrote this newsletter
3. I will reach out to a potential art collaborator.